Opinion: Take a deep breath

Commentary by Jeff Worrell 

Disagreements are as inevitable as change, yet the real challenge lies in how we navigate them. The human fight-or-flight response, hardwired into our biology, often makes calm reasoning feel like an uphill battle during moments of tension. When faced with opposition, our brain sounds the alarm, urging us to either defend fiercely or retreat quickly. But neither reaction fosters the civility necessary for productive conversation.

One way to not let your instincts get the best of you is to pause and breathe. In the heat of the moment, emotions can cloud judgment, making rational discussion nearly impossible. Taking time to pause allows us to disengage from the immediate emotional surge. Adding deep breaths to the pause creates clarity and calm, helping us to control the situation rather than being controlled by it.

Another helpful approach is to shift our perspective. Every disagreement involves another person who carries their own story and reasoning. Instead of assuming malice or ill intent, we can choose to assume humanity. By seeing others as individuals with values and experiences, we replace opposition with curiosity and open-mindedness.

Finally, reframing the purpose of the conversation transforms how we engage with others. Striving for mutual understanding instead of victory creates a more constructive atmosphere. Civility is not about agreeing with every perspective; it’s about engaging respectfully and seeking common ground.

In choosing civility, we don’t suppress our emotions; we learn to channel them constructively. And in doing so, we transform disagreement from a stumbling block into an opportunity for growth.